Dealing With Mental Illness by Jennifer Horne
It has been a long and trying road for me since 1999. I notice a change in my behavior in 1998; this is when I believe that I begin dealing with Mental Illness. I was working at the bank at the time. I started seeing black snakes, and it did not stop there, I thought my co-workers were against me.
These delusions and thoughts went on for months and I just couldn't take it anymore. I wrote a letter to my boss saying that I wanted to resign. I thought it was the best decision for me because the stress of dealing with people became overwhelming and I wasn't happy in the state I was in.
After I resigned from my job, my life went downhill from there. When you're dealing with mental illness you see things that are not there. You hear voices of people talking in your head that are not present. And you think that people are against you, who aren't thinking about you on that level. I didn't know this at the time; it was the state of mind I was in.
And the pressure of carrying my third child didn't help my stress level any.
Thankfully, family and friends began to notice the change in my behavior because I became with drawn and normally I'm friendly and bubbly. I tried to run away from the voices and pressures of life by packing up my kids, getting in my car and driving just to find some peace of mind. And I did this with only twenty dollars in my pocket. This let you know how irrational I was at the time. I drove until I ran out of gas. It took my family to rescue me. This behavior was a result of my undiagnosed mental illness.
Thankfully, my family got me the help that I needed. I was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder, Depressive type- Unspecified. As longs as I take my medicine life becomes bearable. I'm sharing my story because many women are dealing with mental illness and they have not yet been diagnosis. If you are feeling strange, hearing voices, seeing things that are not there, and your reality as you know it, is off, please seek professional help. It's all right and know that you are not alone.